Courageous Communication with Yourself and Healthcare Provider

Courageous communication is needed in many kinds of conversations. Common examples include confronting a bully, expressing an unpopular idea in a group, or saying “no” to someone requesting a favor. Communication is also extremely important when speaking with your healthcare provider.

Common Issues That Hold Individuals Back from Courageous Conversation Include:

Fear of hurting the relationship

Discomfort with conflict

Fear of someone getting mad

Fear of saying the wrong thing or saying it the wrong way (as if there was a perfect way to say anything)

Worry of being wrong or not knowing enough

Fear of losing control of emotions (especially crying when concerned or frustrated)

How Avoiding Courageous Communication Hurts Us

When we avoid these difficult conversations, we do not take the risks needed to achieve a positive outcome. While we might not get what we want each time we address an issue, failing to speak courageously is a guarantee we will NOT get what we want.

Dealing with Fear

Fear is one of the main obstacles that stop us from having a courageous conversation. Fear has many disguises. One way to recognize fear is to identify excuses, such as “the situation is not that bad” or “the problem is not worth mentioning.” Fear is dangerous because it tries to keep us from being courageous.

To help deal with fear, ask yourself the following two questions:

1. What are the consequences if I do nothing?

2. Am I willing to accept these consequences?

Courageous Communication with Yourself and Healthcare Provider

Becoming an active member of your own healthcare team by creating a good relationship with your doctor is the most important way to stay healthy. Research (which research?) has shown that patients who have good relationships with their doctors achieve better results and experience greater satisfaction with their healthcare.

Tips to help:

When talking with your doctor, tell him or her the exact reason for your visit or phone call. Be sure to have specific information ready to explain your situation.

Prepare your list of medications, pharmacy name and number, and your current problems/illnesses/diagnoses ahead of time. If you use a personal health record, you will already have this information available.

Describe your symptoms, such as “I’m having pain in my chest,” or “I’m having a hard time breathing.” Be prepared to answer when you began feeling this way and what makes it better or worse.

Be mindfully authentic and consider your strengths are your superpowers. In other words, know your own strengths to help minimize your weaknesses. A strength overused can be a weakness. So, if humor is your strength, use it mindfully for courageous conversations. Overused humor can be a weakness and come across as insensitive. Similarly, directness is a strength, but know when to soften your approach to avoid appearing abrasive.

If you feel anxious at your appointments, bring a support person to help you feel more courageous.

A good communicator will:

Be mindful of the doctor's limited time by being prepared ahead of time and anticipate that the visit may be shorter than expected.

Be concise when communicating with his or her practitioner.

Prepare questions ahead of appointments and provide just the facts. With so little appointment time, being prepared can help provide your doctor with all the important information about your situation and enough time to answer questions.

Ask the meaning of words and concepts that are unclear. Doctors are trained to use a vocabulary that may be confusing to patients. General medical terms can be used by doctors or specialists. By asking your doctor for clarification with terms you do not understand, you will feel more satisfied from with visit.

To help prepare yourself when speaking with your doctor, print the “Talking with Your Healthcare Provider” checklist below:

Talking with Your Healthcare Provider Checklist

Have the following information with you:

Your personal health record ( )

List of your medications ( )

Your pharmacy name and telephone number ( )

Your current problems/illnesses/ diagnoses ( )

Situation:

I’m having concerns/problems with:

Background:

I began to feel this way when:

What makes it better?

What makes it worse?

How long does it last?

It prevents me from doing my usual activities: Yes or No

Assessment:

I think I feel this way because (include any other possible reasons, such as emotional, stress, finances, new medication):

Wishes/Desires:

I really want to feel

Regarding this issue and my health, it is important that

Questions to ask during appointment:

1)

2)

3)

Recommendation by doctor:

Your doctor’s instructions:

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